Buffalo Burgers

Got a call from my old buddy, Eric Stillman, the renowned stuntman/body double, this morning ... we decided to grab lunch at Formosa on Santa Monica Blvd to catch up on, and re-hash old times.


I'd met Eric on the set of Scream 2 a few years back when he was playing Jerry O'Connell's stunt double. Eric , in my humble opinion, did some of his best work in this film and after that he pretty much wrote his own ticket as Tinseltown's premiere stuntman.

Got to the Formosa Cafe at noon and was happy to see that Stillman was still full of piss and vinegar ... this was the same old Eric I've known for years. Some of you may remember him as the guy who broke up the Tori Spelling / Charlie Shanian marriage...papa Aaron, it seems, was none too happy with his little princess's choice for husband so he offered Eric two million plus a six picture deal with Lifetime Movies if he could be the wedge between his toothy offspring and the low-rent-Lothario she was shacking up with... Eric spent little time busting the fairytale couple up; however when he went to collect, Aaron reneged on his offer...hello National Enquirer ... you'll be reading all about this in a few months.

We dished Jerry O'Connell over buffalo burgers and curly fries; Eric said that the former fat child star, is so happy with his new body he's doing beefcake photos ... he also told me that he's been dealing to some big players of late ... claims that the LAPD knows it was O'Connell who has been supplying Doris Roberts with ecstasy.

As we sipped iced teas, I asked Eric what films he has been working on, "Just finished the new Merchant Ivory production, I play a dead nobleman, oh and I am up to play Jason in the next Friday the 13th - Friday Fever, and did you see me as corpse number six in that episode of Six Feet Under?" he said, his chest swelling with pride.

"Wow, man, you have been busy", I said searching for a toothpick, "How's your love life?"

I should have left well enough alone, you see Eric has been very unlucky in love; He said, "Well between that bad affair with Anne Heche and that nasty break up with Portia de Rossi - I guess I have been previewing all of Ellen DeGeneres's girl friends...I have to stop dating lesbians, man."

Over a couple of slices of chocolate cheese cake, we discussed Ricky Martin's "comeback". Eric asked me, "Say Dex, is it true what I heard about Ricky Martin in South Beach that time..." before I could say anything he went on, "Geez, am I the only one who hasn't fucked him?"

We both thought long and hard about that one, but could not answer it.

After lunch was over, Eric gave me a ride in his newly refurbished Isotta-Fraschini we crusied La Brea to Sunset and watched as Paris Hilton was mistaken for a hooker in front of the Travelodge, we waved as Hollywood Vice threw her into a paddy-wagon ... saw John Travolta and Tom Cruise coming out of the YMCA ... almost ran over Joan Rivers who was botoxed to within an inch of her life and looked like a zombie in Channel as she crossed Hollywood Blvd...

Eric dropped me back off at my car around three, I got home around four and went through the mail ... opened up a script sent to me by Steven Spielberg, it's called Neely! ; a musical version of Valley of the Dolls ... checked my emails ... wrote my fake blog ... told Guadalupe to make something light for dinner tonight, called Hank in Burbank and then settled in on the sofa with the Spielberg script to see what I could do with it...