Lunch Date

Had lunch with Diana Luxemburg today at the Bel Air (that's it on the left) ... Discussed the whole Tom/Katie thing, decided that she was impregnated by someone high up in the Scientology movement. Realized that the child would be due in June of 2006; Diana gasped, "Six, six, six! Dear god, it's L Ron's. I heard somewhere that they had his seed flash frozen!"

We assumed that the birth of baby Cruise would be akin to the final scene from "Rosemary's Baby" with poor Katie screaming, "What have you done to his eyes!" While John Travolta says, "He has his father's eyes!" Then Katie screams, "Tom's eyes are NORMAL!" Then Kristie yells out, "L.Ron is his father - The year is ONE!!"

Over a luscious blood sausage cannelloni and rabbit shoulder paired with dried figs and apricot purée; we talked about my Hanky. Between "Huff" and "Spamalot", Mr. Man has been very busy. Luckily, Matt Perry has been staying in the guest house. Diana stopped me, and said, "You mean you're fucking Matthew Perry while Hank's away?" I laughed and said, "Well sort of, besides Hank suggested it!"

Diana put her Harvey Wallbanger down and rolled her eyes, "And to think, I fucked him before he got that gig on Friends"! We both laughed and toasted to bi-sexual chic.

As we sipped our after meal lattes, Diana announced that "Memory, Sweet Memory" was going to be released around the holidays on DVD, "MGM promises that they are going to give this release a big push, next week, I have to go Studio City to record a commentary track with the director!" she said smiling her million dollar grin, "My first 25th Anniversary Director's Cut DVD!"

After lunch, we strolled through The Beverly Center I picked up Hank a TAG Heuer Carrera Automatic Chronograph Tachymeter as a welcome home gift (he's due back next week).

Finishing up our afternoon, Diana told me that she had a five thirty appointment with Courtney Love (fresh out of rehab again), seems that Love had some stories to share and Diana was going to pad them for her column in Variety next week.

Said our goodbyes and then I jumped into my '56 Ferrari 860 Monza, put on my Ray-Ban's and headed on home.