Dex Baxter is Alive and Well in Hollywood

Hello everyone! I am so sorry that I have been missing; things have been insane around here...Between Hank's show being canceled, Stillman's wedding, and the film I am working on, I have had no time to do much of anything but work!

Yes, "Huff" is no more. The night we heard, I took Hank to the Sheldrake Room and we bumped in to Matt Perry...how ironic that Perry has a new show coming in the fall and Hank's been dumped...thank god for "The Simpsons"...none the less, Mr. Man is a trooper and he's made some damn good investments so we are just viewing this as a breather in between projects...

Did you hear about Eric Stillman's Malibu Weekend wedding? If you read the National Enquirer, you probably did. Well, there is not much to tell except for the facts; the night before, Stillman and Liza Minnelli had a huge falling out that came to blows, poor Eric had a black eye after Liza slugged him and walked out...HOWEVER, since the wedding was prepaid and the invitations were sent, he ended up marrying his elocution teacher, a gorgeous young lady from New Jersey. Of course, everyone was expecting Minnelli to walk down the aisle, so when the pretty young blond showed up, people were scratching their heads...when guest, Faye Dunaway saw the intended Mrs Stillman, she cried out, "Finally that boy has come to his senses and dropped that drunken has been", and then she pulled a bottle of gin from her purse and took a healthy swig. Anyway, it was a swell affair and the happy couple is honeymooning in Palm Springs, and when they come back to La La, Stillman begins filming the sequel to "El Grande Supra" tentative title, "El Grande Supra II - Ole' El Grande!"

So, besides my script doctoring, I've decided to write an original screenplay and have been auditioning some of Tinsel Town's finest. Last week I hosted a private party that served as an open casting call for some of Hollywood's greatest slabs of beefcake talented actors. Of course the first one to show up was Matthew McConaughey who wasted no time cracking open a bottle of Jose Cuervo and doing cannonballs in the pool...anyway the script is tentatively titled, "Sunset Detective Agency" which is about a private investigation company that is staffed by a bunch of hot hunks brilliant private eyes who take their shirts off as much as possible; yes the story will be secondary to the eye candy...this thing is gonna make so much money.

Jake Gyllenhaal also answered the cattle call but he got to drinking with McConaughey and Hank told me that he saw Jakey crawling through the upstairs hallway... we figured he just needed to sleep it off, but the next thing I knew, Guadalupe came out to the patio and said, "Mr. Dexter, that Brokeback boy is passed out on your bedroom floor! Aye!" I told her to keep an eye on him and just lock him in; I'd deal with him later.

Clooney called, he's got a lot of interest in this project and wanted to audition some of the actors himself...I promised him a chance to do all of the callbacks ... Hugh Jackman surprised me be actually showing up...what a nice guy, but I figured that he had enough irons in the fire. Apparently not, the Aussie X Man said he could not wait to disrobe for me on camera, "Tell you what bloke, in Oz, Disco Nation is a fucking classic! So it would be an honor to work with anyone affilated with that masterpiece!"... oh god help me, he has the part!...later on Jared Leto showed up, Boy Howdy, he's a great swimmer and he nailed the fucking audition...I hired him on the spot and told him, "Kid, I am going to make you a star!"


After the auditions, Hank fired up the barbecue and Ramon manned the bar, and dinner and cocktails were served ... it was a pleasant evening and the food and drink was as sublime as the company ... Later on McConaughey started rolling joints and passing them around and soon the air was thick with the smell of ganja...as the evening wound down, I found Jackman asleep on the sofa in the den and shot this picture of him, and then I went to bed and ended up tripping over Jack Nasty who was still out like a light on my bedroom floor... god , I love Hollywood!

AND BY THE WAY...

You may have seen this photo of the macho, action film star floating around the net...but that does not mean that Vincent is gay, OK, just because he's imitating Marilyn Monroe's classic calender pose, does not make him gay ... he was a mere boy when this photo was taken...and it...well it...

Here's a photo of Vin that hangs at his favorite spot at The Sheldrake Room... see, he's 100 percent straight... really, straight as Tom Cruise...

ETC...

As you all might be aware of, my housekeeper, Guadalupe has a cottage industry going designing glad rags for the gals of tinsel town, and I secured Wilma Stonecutter (my former agent, and Stillman's current agent from William Morris) to represent her. Happily, Guadalupe has kept her day job at casa Baxter/Azaria but she's pretty much commandeered the third floor of the mansion as her sweat shop...we've got more Mexicans coming and going at our place than at the Texas border!

This morning, I took the latest script I was doctoring (a top secret project for Universal about the life of Ann Coulter-- tentativly titled, "One Lucky Bitch!") to my favorite beach spot in Malibu, set up my lounge chair and umbrella and while tapping away on my lap top I heard some people screaming, I looked up to see what the commotion was, and saw these two zombies stumbling about ... turned out it was only Mischa Barton and Nicole Richie...