Turkey Pastrami

Sitting in my kitchen this morning, reading the dailies while sipping a cafe mocha latte, and was shocked to read that a Houston newspaper has outed, Anderson Cooper as well as Shepard Smith! Who knew? Next thing they'll be claiming that Jodie Foster and Sean Hayes and John Travolta are gay... Read in Variety that Piven's hosting of the American Cinematheque Award for Al Pacino went well ... took a phone call from Colin Farrell's agent who wanted to know where he was, had Guadalupe go wake him up and told her to delouse the sheets in the guest bedroom for safe measure while he was in the shower ... took another call from Hank who says that the filming in Montreal is going well, weather is fine and his co-star in this still untitled epic, Kevin Spacey is a real piece of work; constantly taking long walks in the local parks at night and losing his cell phone (nothing new there) ... went through the mail and found a check from Spielberg for the work I did on Neely! as well as a hand-written thank you note... Got a call from the suits at Paramount and wanted to know if I could do some work on the latest Julia Robert's script, told them I'd stop by later and pick it up and give it a look see ...

Went out for a jog ... saw Mo Rocca walking to the mailbox, had to stop myself from just going up to him and punching him one in the face (the guy just works my nerves - plain and simple) ... saw Faye Dunaway screaming at a crew of landscapers as they arranged a few hundred hand carved jack-o-lanterns on her lawn; watched her put a cigarette out on the head of one of the lawn crew ... passed Matt Dillon who was running in the opposite direction, high-fived each other and thought back to that night in '94 ... passed Valerie Bertinelli (who looks great BTW) high-fived each other and thought back to that night in '84 ... came around the corner and almost tripped over Doris Roberts who was passed out on the sidewalk, jumped over her and continued ... came back to my street and bumped into Mo Rocca; stopped dead in my tracks and punched him in the face; felt bad and went to help him up, but had a change of heart, kicked him in the ass, lept over him with sadistic glee and continued home...

Crashed out in the media room and flicked on the television ... Guadalupe's son, Ramon came in and told me he had spent the night with Colin in the guest bedroom, told him to grab that bottle of Kwell in the bathroom and pray for the best ... watched The Dukes of Hazard on TNN while sipping an Evian and called Paramount back, told them I'd be over for the Robert's script in a few hours...

While driving to the studio I saw Kirk Cameron coming out of an Adult Book store on Hollywood Blvd; beeped and waved and watched him duck his head ... saw Jenny McCarthy on the lot at Paramount, air-kissed, told her she looked hot ... picked up the script and sat in the commissary and flipped through it; a real piece of shit, it's going to make a gazillion. Saw that the leading man was going to be Will Smith ... will have to write in a scene where we see his butt unclothed ... stopped off at Factors Famous Deli and had a turkey pastrami ... Called Diana to make plans for dinner tonight...