Hot Buttered Rum and Popcorn

Greetings from Park City Utah!

The Sundance Film Festival is in full swing, kids and this town is hopping. It's Hollywood In Wool Hats!

The hotel that Hank and I are staying at is just a stone's throw from downtown so we've managed to make it to almost all of the screenings so far ... of course the one we were most jazzed about seeing was the festival premiere of "El Grande Supra"... my god, kids, what can I tell you about this film? Defying all odds, this celluloid atrocity had the audience on their feet cheering, and the critics falling over themselves to come up with superlatives to recommend it! My good buddy, Eric Stillman OWNS this piece, as the tortured superhero who was born of Mormon missionaries who are murdered in Mexico by bandits and is then raised by Pancho Villa's great, great grand daughter...and then on his twenty first birthday is abducted by aliens and then returned to earth with superhuman powers that he uses to protect the citizens of his sleepy backwater, Nacho Via Skumdum...oy vey, who'd have thunk it? Nonetheless, it's the toast of Park City and Stillman is the man of the hour!

At one of the parties that Miramax was hosting (they will be distributing the film) body guards were hired to protect Stillman ... crazy! Hank and I had to put him up at our room for the past few days because of the press, as well as Liza Minnelli who is in town trying to hunt him down (as you might recall, she and Stillman were an item for a few minutes last December after Faye Dunaway's ill-fated Christmas Eve party), and Miss Liza is not one to be toyed with, just ask David Gest! Any hoots, I for one am thrilled that Stillman is finally getting the attention he deserves.

Spent yesterday on the slopes with Hank and Sting and Trudie .... have not been skiing in ages, but, frost bite be damned, we had a great time ... later on in the lodge, Scarlett Johanson asked me for Stillman's phone number. I slipped her the digits but told her to watch out for Liza (man that would be a hellacious cat fight!) ... later on Sting, Hank, Trudie, and I went to a screening of "Thank You For Smoking"...in the men's room, Robert Downey Jr. asked me if I had any blow, I gave him a line of foot powder, and boy howdy, he snorted a line of it and smiled! I felt good, knowing that I was merely providing an illusion of his addiction to him ... after the movie, we went to a party where I bumped into James Van Der Beek and we talked about his stalled career...poor kid, I think he'd do gay-pron for some exposure these days... found out later, that he was parking cars during the day and shopping around some little indie film he was working on ... so sad, but he's a good kid, he'll bounce back!

Last night, Mister Man and I went to a screening and I bumped into Tim Hutton...it was uncomfortable to say the least...Tim and I were roommates for a while back in the day and I don't think he's ever really gotten over me; not to sound all conceded about it, but Tim is a pretty clingy fellow and once he laid eyes on me, he got all puppy dog and I thought Hank was going to go ballistic and make a scene, luckily I talked Hanky down and took Tim aside and in the lobby of the theatre we talked about the old days and I slipped him Deborah Winger's unlisted home phone number in the hopes that he'd obsess over her again instead of me, that seemed to do the trick and the rest of the evening went off with out a hitch!

This morning, Hank, Eric, Greg Kinnear, Edward Norton and your's truly took to the slopes ... yes fans that is me with the yellow and black ski-jacket and Stillman is sporting the Santa Claus hat that Scarlett gave him the night before! After a great morning, we headed back to town for seven more screenings as well as an evening of parties...tonight, as I settled into my seat at The Egyptian to watch yet another documentary film on the plight of transgendered nuns from Siberia, and sipped a hot buttered rum while munching some popcorn, I thought to myself, what have I done to deserve this dream life?

Pretzels and Beer

What a night, boy and girls! Here are some photos I shot at Monday night's Golden Globe Awards:


*The 2006 Golden Globes are history, and my good pal, Eric Stillman brought home the gold when he won for best performance in a foreign comedy or musical as the lead in, "El Grande Supra" Here is Eric with his trophy!



*As you know his date for the night was my housekeeper, Gudalupe. Here she is just seconds after Eric's name was announced as the winner!


*Earlier in the night, yours truly posed with my old friend, Emma Thompson.


*Even though security was very tight some homeless people wandered in off of Sunset Blvd... but this is Hollywood, and everyone was made to feel welcome feasting on the pretzels and beer that were were set up on every table!


* It was not just the homeless people ... this hooker kept showing up ... I am not sure who she was with but somebody was sure slumming for a date last night!


* Trouble in paradise: Poor Matthew Broderick, his wife Sarah Jessica really gave him an earful when she found him sitting in Nathan Lane's lap... little Miss SexInTheCity snatched her cute hubby off his "Producers" co-star, and pulled him aside where she made him promise that he'd behave...



* Eric McCormack's pants kept falling down when ever he stood next to his "Will and Grace" co-star, Sean ('I Am Straight') Hayes.





* I made the mistake of bringing my attorney, Saul Rabinowitz with me ... Saul's a great guy, but after a few glasses of cheap champagne he accosted Harrison Ford yelling, "Mashugana! Look at this suit, that fit is awful, my brother Morty could have done a better job, come here let me fix those pockets!"

Mini Crab Cakes with Mango Salsa

Well slap me on the butt and call me, Tom Cruise! It looks like El Grande Supra is going to play Sundance next week!!

Yes, Eric Stillman's quickie action flick shot south of the border is the critic's darling this year...word is that a Golden Globe will be hoisted on the Mexican Superhero flick tomorrow night as well...the phone's been ringing off the hook here with people trying to get an interview with the elusive star of the epic ... Paramount is in a bidding war with FOX over the American rights as they want to re-film it with Hugh Jackman in the lead ... Disney wants to turn it into an animated feature... and Hasbro toys sent a rep over to do a body cast on Stillman so that they can get out some action figures that McDonald's will give away with Happy Meals when the film goes into general release!

I managed to get my lawyer, Saul Rabinowitz, to represent Stillman in his host of legal problems; so far things seem to be going smooth, the only fly in the ointment is that damn Colombian Drug Cartel - my maid, Guadalupe, says that she has some connections and, provided I set her up on a date with Stillman, she'll be able to stop anything bad from happening by placing two phone calls to Mexico City... (so guess who Stillman will be taking to the awards show tomorrow?) -- frankly I think the whole thing will go swimmingly provided I manage to keep Liza Minnelli out of the loop (damn but Liza is cuckoo for the S Man!).

In other news, I've been busier than Lindsay Lohan's coke dealer... between juggling Stillman's legal problems and Matthew Perry's drinking binges (I know, but he's a good guy, and I am a loyal kind of guy, so what are ya' gonna do?), I've also been hard at work on the new Ben Affleck script; it's a bio-pic about the life of Andy Warhol -- I mean, who comes up with this crap? -- But Ben is committed and is losing about fifty pounds, will shave his head, and wear a white fright wig for the part...Also, I've been in contact with Sonia Braga who has a script that she is just gaga over; she's going to play a woman who lives in a large North Eastern City who is a loving mother and housewife by day, and a sexy, poet spouting hell raiser by night...I think this property is the money, baby!

Had lunch today with Meryl Streep at The Derby and she was going on and on about her latest film, and If if wasn't a gentleman I'd have made some kind of excuse and left her at her table, but that's showbiz. I politely sat, while nibbling mini crab cakes with mango salsa, and pretended to be interested in her new movie (a musical about Trenton New Jersey tentatively titled, "The World Takes!". No body is going to see this turkey, but it sure will garner a boat-load of awards, count on that ... after lunch I bumped in to Tom Arnold (now here's a clown who lucked out big time), and we discussed the passing of Shelly Winters...Tom was late for his meeting at Over Eaters Anonymous so we cut our chat short...driving down Sunset, I caught site of Nick Brendon making his way into the Starbucks, what a shame about his new show, Kitchen Confidential it does not look like FOX is going to give this show a chance after all, but I think Nick will bounce back ... say did I ever tell you all how Brendon got his real break in this town? No? Well, maybe another day... let's just say he worked hard for that role on Buffy and leave it at that...

Dom Perignon

"I fucking love Hollywood" - Taye Diggs



Have you ever played twister, half naked, with Gael Garcia Bernal?

How about blind man's bluff in the all-together with Anderson Cooper and Nate Berkus?

Ever played Mad-Libs, in a steam bath, while a drunken Jeremy Piven keeps falling over you saying, "Let's hug it out, man!"

Well, yes I have, thanks for asking. It all happened on New Year's Eve when Hank and I hosted our annual Hollywood Bachelor's Party at the Beverly Wilshire...we took two adjoining suites and a boat load of bachelors, wanna-be-bachelors and sudden bachelors crowded into our suite of rooms ... the place was lousy with sauced actors and other celebs who wanted nothing more than to come in out of the torrential rains outside and get warm and comfy with their brothers-in-art.

When Hollywood thinks no one is looking, things tend to get a bit crazy, for sure ... There's Taye Diggs arm-wrestling Chris Isaak (Diggs won), here's Ben trying to get reacquainted with Matt (don't get me started on those two fucking bitches!), meanwhile Shemar Moore keeps walking out on the terrace in his boxer shorts singing "It's Raining Men" (he's got a great voice), and then Topher Grace and Greg Kinnear are comparing notes on Ashton Kutcher ( they both agreed that Demi has her work cut out for her)...

As I sat next to Hank, who kept telling me dirty jokes in his Moe the Bartender voice (Mr. Man was feeling very frisky), and enjoyed some of the Mexican weed we'd received from Eric Stillman on Christmas, I watched as George Clooney closed a deal on his cell phone while Mark Whalberg kept trying to get George's belt off from around his pants ... Clooney really had his hand's full, that guy is Mister MultiTasking!

After midnight, with most of the party crowd in various states of undress and in somewhat compromising positions, a phone call came from the front desk that Geraldo Rivera was trying to find out what room we were all in. Anderson Cooper took the call and sent them to the second floor where Drew Barrymore was hosting the Hollywood Bachelorette party ... walking through one of the bedrooms I found Chris Isaak sitting nude on a bed, strumming his six-string, next to him, out like a light, was Piven who was dead to the world... then Hank found me and grabbed my arm and we found our way to the sunken bathtub in one of the bathrooms and we broke open a bottle of Dom Perignon, and toasted in the new year while soaking in a decadent bubble bath ... yes, I fell off the wagon for a few minutes, but it was worth it, and I only had one glass of the bubbly... emerging from the bath, we threw on some terrycloth robes and went back to the party and found Matthew Perry naked on top of the piano belting out, "Stout Hearted Men", Matt was in fine voice and found several men of stout heart to oblige him later ... oh, then we played Twister, that Gael Garcia Bernal is one double-jointed dude, let me tell ya! That was followed by a rather raucous game of blind man's bluff (don't ask), and at around four o clock, most of the guests retired to the steam room to blow off some steam, that's when Piven woke up, and still drunk, kept falling over everyone ...

Finally at around six, most of the guests left and Hank and I crashed out...I woke up around noon and surveyed the damage. Good Christ the place looked like a storm had gone through. It was then that I heard water running and when I went into the bathroom, I found Taye Diggs in an inner-tube floating in the sunken bathtub, "Great fucking party", he said to me smiling, "I fucking love Hollywood"!

No argument there.