Whole Cranberry Sauce

It's a day late, but Happy Turkey Day all!

Before I start, I just want everyone to know that Matthew Perry is doing great. He fell off the wagon for a time there, but things are looking up for our favorite "Friend" -- maybe you've seen his Haines Spot with Michael Jordan...well, those checks have been rolling in as well as the residuals from his old sit com so anyone that says, "Money can't be happiness" might be right, but it sure helps regaining ones sobriety.

Hank got back from Canada on Tuesday and we decided to order out for Thanksgiving and have a few of the "Hollywood Bachelors" over for a little dinner. Guadalupe had the day off so I had to hire a few servers and bartenders for our little soiree ... also, had to take a run to Albertson's on Sunset Blvd and pick up a couple of cans of whole cranberry sauce ... bumped into Brandon Frasier and his wife who were fetching a pre-cooked turkey...before he became a family man, Brandon was quite the party boy in L.A.; many's the event I went to in the early 90's where Frazier would be doing laps in some producer's pool; but success and father hood have settled down the wild boy of yesteryear and I am happy to report that aside from the thinning hair and expanding waist, he looks great!

Also saw Joan Rivers and her daughter shopping for Popsicle sticks, "Binge and purge, Missy!" Rivers was screeching as they made their way, "You can't afford to gain any weight with awards season coming up!!!" -- Poor Melisa, the kid must weigh all of sixty pounds these days ... Melanie Griffith looked fab as she led her kids down the frozen foods aisle, when she saw me she waved me over and said she was heading out to Aspen for a little reunion with Don Johnson while Antonio is in Spain working on a film ... in the check out cue I saw Benjamin Bratt looking into a mirror checking himself out, he looked over and smiled and waved and then went back to his doppelganger, self absorbed narcissist that he is (I knew him way back when, before the face-lifts, the liposuction and the hair plugs; unbelievable twit, that one).

When I got home I saw that that the spread had been set by the staff we hired ... Hank was in the garden smoking a Cuban and I joined him and he gave me a little wrapped box which I opened to reveal a 18K Solid Gold i830 cell phone! I was so happy I flipped, "You can't believe what I went through to get you that", he told me smiling.

At around two the guests arrived. Eric Roberts was the first. Now, Eric is a great guy, no matter what you might have heard, and provided you don't mention his sister, he is good company and very entertaining...Eric and I met many moons ago when we were both young and hungry out here in movie-land ... everyone thought he was going to be the next big thing when "King of the Gypsies" came out, and then later on "The Pope of Greenwich Village" and "Star 80"...but for whatever reasons, his star never rose much higher and of course he was eclipsed by his sister Julia; still though, I love the guy.

Hank and Eric enjoyed a couple of pomegranate martinis, while I sipped some club soda and we discussed life for a bit, just then the door bell rang and Greg Kinnear and Matt Damon showed up. You won't read this in any gossip mag, but I am here to tell you the truth: Matt and Greg have been inseparable since they met at the Bally's in North Hollywood the day after Halloween; while the two had worked together in the past, these days once could say they really are stuck on each other. Frankly I am happy for Damon, ever since Affleck dumped him, the guy has been a wreck...yeah, yeah, I know, Kinnear is supposed to be married and Damon is seeing some woman...come on people, get with the program, this is Hollywood, and their are more beards in this town than at an Amish barn raising!

Dinner was sublime and afterwords we repaired to the hot tub for coffee and after dinner drinks. Matt and Greg got comfortable on their own which left Eric, Hank and I to dish about what was going lately...we were all taking bets on the Cruise/Holmes marriage...Eric wanted to know how much the Scientologists were paying Katie for use of her uterus ... Later on Hank asked me how the match making was going; Eric even chimed in, "Word's all over town about Stillman and Drea De Matteo"; I happily reported that the duo seemed to be doing well and were planning on moving in together, just then Damon called out, "Yeah, but doesn't Stillman change all of his girlfriends into lesbians?" Eric nodded his head, "I heard the same thing...It must be a real bitch to be one of the few 100% straight guys in this town, your choices are closeted dyke's or heterosexual chicks who look like lollipops." We all laughed but wished our pal, Eric Stillman the best of luck...